How wonderful it would be if all children could say these words to their parents: “I accept myself as I am, and I am happy with whom I am. I believe that your expressions of love and your encouragement in the past were fundamental in allowing me to feel the way I feel today. What a precious gift that was! Thank you.”
many of us do not love our own selves enough. This reduced self-esteem may be the result of early experiences with unskilled parents who instead of praising their children, had unrealistic expectations, demanded too much from them, compared them with others that they deemed better, criticized them harshly when they failed, and by doing all this instilled in them the feeling that they were not good enough, and , therefore, undeserving of receiving love.
Those individuals, then, go through life carrying this feeling. Some become very competitive, obsessed with achieving success, trying to prove their value, but always feeling that they are not good enough, no matter how successful they may be. Others give in to the idea that they are not good enough, and give up pursuing their highest dreams. They never give full expression to their potentials.
The negative impact of this type of parenting — where love is conditional to excellent performance — is long-lasting and does not go away easily. Many of my friends, some of them already in advanced age, are still striving to prove their worth in order to receive approval, recognition, and praise, especially from their parents who, by the way, have passed away a long time ago.
ADVICE TO PARENTS
Reassuring words of unconditional love and support, especially in times of defeat and failure, are of the utmost importance to build a strong self-esteem in our children, so tell your children often that you love them, and give them reasons to think highly of themselves.
Praise everywhere, but never criticize in public, and never forget that we are what we think, so make all you can for your children to think highly of themselves. As the saying goes, “If we think we can, we can. If we think we can’t, we can’t.”
TIME TO REST
Today is a good day to accept and love yourself. Today is a good day to rejoice with whom you are. There’s no need to prove anything. There’s no need to compete, excel , or win. There’s no need to rush, finish first, or defeat anyone. Actually, the one who wins today is the one who takes more time to observe and spot miracles. Therefore, move slowly, look around, and savor the beauty. Enjoy this day that was given to you. Nothing is required of you today, except for you to be content and happy with whom you are. Stop comparing yourself with others, putting yourself down, or feeling unworthy. Again, there’s no need to compete, or prove anything. Realize that you are wonderful just the way you are. You are a child of the Universe, a wonderful creation. You are worth of much love. Know that you are loved.
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Take a look at these books at the Peaceful Ways online store
– “Peaceful Ways – The Power of Making Your Wishes Come True”
– “Pay Attention! Be Alert! Discovering Your Route to Happiness”
– “Silent Peace Walk”
Piero Falci is the founder of the Silent Peace Walk movement. He is an author and educator who believes that the inner work that leads to personal transformation is indispensable to create a wholesome world. He is an explorer and inspirer who encourages people to live lives that matter. He is a promoter of peace who believes that Heaven is here, if we want it to be. He teaches mindfulness meditation and mindful living.