WRITTEN by FLORENCIA CLEMENT DE GRANPREY
So, this entire week I’m practicing “letting go”… letting go of many things: letting go of feelings that don’t serve me, of people who want my time and attention but aren’t willing to give me theirs, of judgement, because it’s not my job, of impatience, because everything happens when it is supposed to, of the past, because I’m here now, of worry, because despite what I’d like to think I don’t have control on pretty much anything… and a biggie for me, letting go of outcomes.
I’m really trying not to be attached to the outcome, I have to trust that the outcome will be perfect however it may look… I must focus on the now and not on what might be in the future, mainly, because I must be willing to accept failure and not only success. Maybe if I’m not attached to the outcome, I can just enjoy the process… kind of like baking a cake and having a blast while making it even if it might come out looking completely different from the pretty picture in the recipe book.
A few weeks ago, I invited you to let go. I’m trying different ways to do so and applying it to a variety of situations. This week it’s about past partners (I seem to have accumulated a nice collection, lol). So, I continue letting go… because I need to make room for the right one. We’ve all had negative relationship experiences at some point of our life. Every time it doesn’t work out we put up a little wall to prevent it from happening again. Some of us call this self protection. This instinct is completely natural, and, to some extent, even necessary. Unfortunately, after enough beatings, we have so many barriers up that there is hardly any room for a new person to wiggle themselves into our protected hearts. However, the problem isn’t really the barriers, but, rather, the hurt attached to the negative experiences, which we carry with us long after the relationship is over. All this hurt weighs us down and interferes with future relationships. We relive the pain to remind ourselves of what we don’t want, but in doing so, we sabotage possible new relationships…
I’ve come to realize that I need to remove the hurt to be able to move forward. I’m doing this by assuming responsibility, asking myself for forgiveness for being in the situation, loving myself, and thanking myself for every time there has been hurt. By doing this I’m letting go of the pain. I have spent the last week repeating this practice throughout the day, while thinking of each and every person (male) I’ve had a relationship with (even those I didn’t necessarily think were negative). I’m cleansing myself of the pain and suffering attached to these experiences. I can learn from them, but the hurt doesn’t serve me and I choose to LET IT GO!
I’m using the ho’oponopono mantra: “I’m sorry, please forgive me, I love you, thank you.”
What hurt from relationships are you carrying around that you would like to relieve yourself of? Will you join me this week in letting go of this past pain? It doesn’t serve us to carry it any longer… let’s let go of it and make room for the right persons in our lives!
This is such a beautiful practice: to forgive others and our own selves. The truth is that we learn and change throughout life: we can learn about ourselves and become more authentic, less afraid of showing who we really are. We can learn to protect ourselves from those who want to hurt us. We can learn to be less selfish, and to care more for others. We can learn to treat others the way they ought to be treated. We are not the same person throughout our lives. We can forgive the ignorance and the lack of sensibility of others. We can also forgive ourselves for our own ignorance and lack of skills to treat others properly and for our inability to notice and tend to their needs. “I am sorry. Please, forgive me. I love you. Thank you.”
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