Choosing Thoughts, Choosing Feelings

Human beings entertain between 60,000 to 80,000 different thoughts every day. Our minds are in constant, and most of the time, frenetic and uncontrolled activity. Something happens and a thought pops up, such as a memory. One thought triggers the next, and all those thoughts bring about emotions. Since our minds have the tendency to retain our negative experiences, negative emotions come to the surface, and we may find ourselves feeling down, fearful, sad, or angry for no apparent reason. Scientists have given a name to this tendency of the brain: they called it, Negativity Bias. This tendency to focus on and retain the worst experiences, puts us in a place of fear. It makes us believe that there is imminent danger out there, that there are individuals out there ready to hurt us, and that, therefore, we must constantly be on the lookout, ready to flee or fight. This negativity expresses itself through a pessimistic outlook in life: “If something bad can happen, most likely it will.” Unfortunately, constant fear leads to a miserable existence with a tremendous toll of one’s health; this surely is a pitiful way of living.

We should, on a regular basis, investigate what is behind our feelings, especially the troubling ones, by asking ourselves, “How am I feeling right now? Why am I feeling this way? What brought this feeling up? Is this feeling justified?” Once you identify the reason why you are feeling a certain way, you can choose to understand the emotions, deal with the problem, and move on to a better place. This activity is, pretty much, practical psychotherapy in motion… self-applied psychotherapy, if you will. The results of such a simple practice are amazing. It really improves the quality of one’s life,

So, pause, pay attention, and investigate your feelings. It is important to acknowledge them, understand what is generating them — the so called sponsoring thoughts — and take the time to process them. Do not force yourself to change abruptly. Process whatever may be disturbing you, in a gentle way. Be gentle with yourself. If you are being called to grieve and cry, go ahead and do so. But remember that you always have a choice. You have the power to choose the thoughts and feelings that will make you feel better. So, choose whatever makes you feel good. Make sure you are not dwelling in negative feelings such as fear, worry, anxiety, and anger. If so, choose good feelings. Replace them with love and hope.


You always have a choice. You are in control. You can choose.

I have chosen to practice optimism, to see good in everyone and everything, to have a blissful experience, and to feel Heaven on Earth. That’s my choice.

Would you join me?

Make your best choice.