The One Lesson We Must Learn: Unselfishness

Do you want to be happy and peaceful?

It all boils down to healthy selfishness and open-hearted unselfishness.


When we operate in an unhealthy selfish mode, we are, primarily, a bunch of self-centered individuals interacting with other selfish beings. We want what we want, when we want, and the way we want. In all our interactions, we all are, consciously or unconsciously, asking ourselves “What’s in it for me?” Behind every action there is a self-serving motivation. Even behind the most unselfish act there is a dose of selfishness. Even when we think that we are working solely for others and selflessly giving of ourselves, we still are, to a greater or lesser degree, working for our own selves. We may be doing it because we want recognition, power, love, acceptance, or feel that we are worthy and necessary. We may be doing it just to experience the good feelings that come from doing good. And what’s wrong with this? Even if people are doing it for the wrong reasons, good is still being done, isn’t it? Is there a difference between a good deed fueled by selfish reasons, and other good deeds motivated by unselfishness?

In every unselfish deed there is a dose of selfishness. I guess we need to check what is primarily motivating us to perform the good deeds. Is it selfishness or genuine unselfishness? What is the predominant motivator?


Can we distinguish between unhealthy and healthy selfishness?


Why am I here? Why are we here? What for?


“I am here to learn and grow.” This may sound selfish, but, actually, by learning and growing we become better human beings and a blessing to others.

“I am here to be happy.” This may sound selfish, but, actually, when we are happy, we bring happiness to those around us, and we make the world better for everyone.

This is healthy selfishness.


I don’t know why we are here, but I like to consider the idea that, maybe, the only reason we are here is to achieve happiness and spread it by learning to be healthfully selfish and unselfish.

There’s good and bad selfishness.

There’s good and bad unselfishness.

Maybe this planet is just a big practicing ground for us to learn to distinguish the good selfishness from the bad one, and the good unselfishness from the bad one, that’s all.

I know that for many it may be hard to accept, but imagine the possibility that some superior intelligence in some other dimension is in charge of this entire operation. Imagine that this superior intelligence releases us here on this planet, solely for us to learn one single lesson. When it releases us, we are totally, one hundred percent, selfish– that’s how we are originally programmed. And then, we are given some decades of physical existence and millions of opportunities to practice in order to learn the one lesson we need to learn: to choose healthy selfishness and unselfishness.

We are here to learn, change, grow, and be happy.

We are here to do what is necessary to move from the point where we care for ourselves exclusively, and no one else, to this new point where we care for everyone, our own selves included.

We are here to learn that the most rewarding journey is the one that takes us from sick egoism to healthy selfishness and altruism.

We are here to learn how to do good, and to do good.

We are here to be joyful and spread joy.

We are here to be a blessing to others. We are here to make other people’s lives better.